So, I’m married to my husband, of course. And I think as a wife I’ve been pretty good. Kids are fed, house is not a bombsite, dog is walked, clothes are washed. The basics are covered. Add to that the kids are well-loved and cared for, meals are relatively wholesome and delicious (IMO).
But I do wonder how good a friend I am to DH. This blog currently doing the rounds on FB as part of the Time to Change campaign and it’s about how your friends deal with your mental illness. DH is lucky, his friends have stuck by while DH has been, frankly, a shit friend. Cancelling plans, not turning up to stuff, not replying to texts. And yet people haven’t given up. Maybe they don’t text him or ring him as much any more but that’s probably as much down to our lives with kids and jobs etc.
However, how good have I been? I’ve been relatively patient but there have been many times that I have stuck around because, well, because of the kids and my desire to keep our little family intact. In spite of what DH’s depression is doing to me and to us as a couple.
Yes, it’s been down to loyalty but there’s an element of laziness, of unwillingness to face the thought of a break up and split up the family.
Have I listened enough? Probably not, even though DH doesn’t really talk about how he feels. There are times when I wonder how much I even care how he feels because of the impact on me and the kids.
I am still here though. And I think that has to be enough for now.